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I didn’t get the memo declaring sweatpants the new leather gun holster. Sure, I undertsand the elasticity of the sweatpant waist allows for a quicker draw than most other gun bearing trousers. But I miss the days of Eastwood and Wayne, when guns were drawn from the waist, outside of the pants. Now, our outlaws stick their hands down their pants whenever they want to start trouble. Could you imagine if every time Jesee James had to take down a bank, he for a moment looked like that kid in grade school who was always warming his hand during math class.

That’s bad enough, but what about the reasons for discharging the weapon? We got a star football player, wearing gun bearing sweatpants at a club in Manhattan. Since when did Manhattan clubs turn into Denny’s restaurants? Then, he somehow manages to aciddentally fire the gun into his own thigh.

Then we get this joker shooting a guy in his arm because he was talking during a movie. I hate talkers at movies, but I’d feel medevil throwing a junior mint at the guy. This fella slips his hand past the elastic band of his sweatpants, pulls out a gun in a movie theater, and pops a guy in the arm.

It seems that not allowing sweatpants in public would easily prevent both of these terrible situations. Also, give me one good reason why sweatpants should NOT be banned in public. I mean real out in public. Gyms don’t count as real public.

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